Redneck security system

[Ported&Polished]

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN TEXAS

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's
used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy
of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazines.
4 Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Big'un, Duke, Slim, and I went for more ammo and beer.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard
to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four
of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Cooter