Gay Quiz....

Post by **AlisoBob** » September 7th, 2007, 9:08 am

My FEMALE Office Manager gave this to me.... She says its 95% accurate:

This was sent to me by a Female...

Eight sure-fire ways to tell if you are gay...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard
stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat
is like a dog,but gay - It grooms itself constantly but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be
fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said
get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat...
"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck
El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's
world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one
in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and
full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes
to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major League Baseball, AMA Racing, NFL, NHL, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the
wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of
the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger,
hold his beer, or play with his bitch in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
Mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui?
The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a
woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when theyflame out too quickly.

Any questions or comments?

dannygraves · Post by **dannygraves** » September 7th, 2007, 9:17 am

LMFAO, so what does it mean when I stop by McD's for breakfast before a ride and Justin tells me to make sure to get him 6 creamers and 6 sugars for his coffee???
Coz the girl at the window and I were both laughing at Justin even though he wasn't there

hoofarted · Post by **hoofarted** » September 7th, 2007, 9:24 am

Goddamn excellent list! Really effin' funny!

Post by **AlisoBob** » September 7th, 2007, 9:25 am

ADD:

Last minute backouts to Hoon Rides....

britincali · Post by **britincali** » September 7th, 2007, 9:50 am

AlisoBob wrote:ADD:

Last minute backouts to Hoon Rides....

Not last miute, I PMed ya wednesday remember

"From: britincali
To: AlisoBob
Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:08 pm
Subject: KM

I aint going"

Post by **AlisoBob** » September 7th, 2007, 10:07 am

That was when you were afraid your $45K dollar Ford couldnt pull your $4k dollar trailer DOWN a hill.

What's it this time?

britincali · Post by **britincali** » September 7th, 2007, 10:24 am

AlisoBob wrote:That was when you were afraid your $45K dollar Ford couldnt pull your $4k dollar trailer DOWN a hill.

What's it this time?

That and other stuff

Oh and I paid $21k

M.F.D.B. · Post by **M.F.D.B.** » February 20th, 2008, 9:02 pm

dannygraves wrote:LMFAO, so what does it mean when I stop by McD's for breakfast before a ride and Justin tells me to make sure to get him 6 creamers and 6 sugars for his coffee???
Coz the girl at the window and I were both laughing at Justin even though he wasn't there

EAT SHIT!!

What about when a dip shit grabs a burning BBQ and burns his hands so he cant make this weekends ride??

Post by **AlisoBob** » February 20th, 2008, 10:20 pm

I forgot all about that....

God Damm I post some funny shit....

M.F.D.B. · Post by **M.F.D.B.** » February 20th, 2008, 10:22 pm

AlisoBob wrote:I forgot all about that....

God Damm I post some funny shit....

I was looking for the post from you about the Black SH bike I posted today...

Post by **AlisoBob** » February 20th, 2008, 10:25 pm

http://www.bannedcr500riders.com/board/ ... .php?t=535

M.F.D.B. · Post by **M.F.D.B.** » February 20th, 2008, 10:30 pm

AlisoBob wrote:http://www.bannedcr500riders.com/board/ ... .php?t=535

Grassyass, senyor...

bigjay · Post by **bigjay** » February 21st, 2008, 12:03 am

dude.. its got "black plastic excell rims and hubs"

gauranteed to knock 18 lbs off your bike and break in half the first time you kick it over

lewisclan · Post by **lewisclan** » February 21st, 2008, 5:23 am

GREAT LIST

iggys-amsoil · Post by **iggys-amsoil** » February 21st, 2008, 11:18 pm

I was worried about #2. But I call him boy. And he comes just like a dog.

dannygraves · Post by **dannygraves** » February 22nd, 2008, 6:36 am

your still a homo iggy! HAHAHAHHA

na, I've got 3 cats, one of them beats up my 2 pitbulls, hes a regular tough guy and over 20lbs, there nothing homo about that cat! He brought home a RABBIT when Sara was pregnant with Seth! Left it on the living room floor.

Post by **AlisoBob** » February 22nd, 2008, 6:55 am

pstoffers · Post by **pstoffers** » February 22nd, 2008, 7:09 am

dannygraves · Post by **dannygraves** » February 22nd, 2008, 7:23 am

Now thats a mans cat right ther!

lewisclan · Post by **lewisclan** » February 22nd, 2008, 7:29 am

I just had one of our labors put up a humming bird feeder right outside my office window .......... Now what

Post by **AlisoBob** » February 22nd, 2008, 8:08 am

Hummingbird Facts:

* Hummingbirds are built for power and dazzle, hummingbirds are little more than flight muscles covered with feathers. 30% of a hummingbird's weight consists of flight muscles.

* A Hummingbird's flight speed can average 25-30 mph, and can dive up to 60 mph.

* In their non stop quest for fuel, Hummingbirds may visit 1,000 flower per day. For protein, hummingbirds eat spiders and strain gnats from mid-air. They will pull insects out of spiderwebs including the spider itself.

* The hummingbird's brain, 4.2% of its body weight, is proportionately the largest in the bird kingdom.

* Hummingbirds are very territorial and will aggressively protect nectar sources especially when migrating. It is important to have several feeders, out of sight of each other, to prevent one hummingbird from dominating your feeders.

* Hummingbirds do not mate for life - the female raises the young on her own. The male hummingbird is not involved with raising the young. The female does all the work of raising her young alone! Females will lay a clutch of only two white eggs and will produce only one brood per season.

I have a few feeders... Hummingbirds Rock!

lewisclan · Post by **lewisclan** » February 22nd, 2008, 9:03 am

Right On!

M.F.D.B. · Post by **M.F.D.B.** » February 22nd, 2008, 9:35 am

iggys-amsoil wrote:I was worried about #2. But I call him boy. And he comes just like a dog.

Still a HOMO...

Post by **AlisoBob** » February 22nd, 2008, 10:00 am

bigpower · Post by **bigpower** » February 25th, 2008, 3:23 pm

AlisoBob wrote:
I have a few feeders... Hummingbirds Rock!

You aint kiddin

Get the same ones back to my place every year. Must be that 116 octane sugar water I make em.

I do have a cat, and he's a total prick, but I aint seen a mouse in the barn for a few years, and theres nothing like knocking down a half gallon of Baileys with my sunday coffee.

BannedCR500Riders.com

Gay Quiz....

Gay Quiz....