How Hoons Stay Married:

[AlisoBob]

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship......
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in Glamis , and mine is in Dumont.

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'

[Hellbear]

[hoofarted]

Dust!

Old one - but still funny...

[britincali]

[lewisclan]

Red skeliton

[teemtrubble]

Red skeliton

In Las Vegas at Ceasar's Palce!

[iggys-amsoil]

[BIGWORM500]

[Ported&Polished]

Sounded simular to Rodney Dangerfield.