You have to take time and read the 'Dam story' I'm sending you
This is why our free country is such a funny (Funny stupid) place to live,
and if you don't believe me then go ask the beavers.
The Dam
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond
on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental
Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read
the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
> > Dear Mr. DeVries:
> >
> > It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
> > there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
> > of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
> > contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
> > maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond
> >
> > A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
> > review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
> > Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
> > of Part 301, InlandLakesand Streams, of the Natural Resource and
> > Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
> > sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws,
> > annotated.
> >
> >
> > The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
> > failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream
> > locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
> > cannot be permitted.
> >
> > The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at
> > this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
> > removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All
> > restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.
> >
> > Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a
> > follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply
> > with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
> > result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.. We
> > anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please
> > feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> >
> > David L. Price
> > District Representative and Water Management Division.
> >
> >
> > Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
> >
> >
> > Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
> >
> > Dear Mr. Price,
> >
> > Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to.
> >
> > I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout
> > Run, Pennsylvania.
> >
> > A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing
> > and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
> > Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
> > think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
> > naturesbuilding materials 'debris.'
> >
> > I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam
> > project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state
> > there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
> > resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
> > determination and/or their dam work ethic.
> >
> >
> >
> > These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do
> > not think the beavers areaware that they must first
> > fill out a dam permit priorto the start of this type of dam activity.
> >
> > My first dam question to you is:
> >
> > (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
> > (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam
> > request?
> >
> > If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
> > through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed
> > copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that
> > have been issued.
> >
> > (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301,
> > Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
> > Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101
> > to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)
> >
> > I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to
> > legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
> > financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation --
> > so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
> > Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams
> > failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that
> > this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to
> > protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers
> > alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.
> >
> > If you want the stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition
> > please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them,
> > they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they
> > being unable to read English.
> >
> > In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to
> > build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass
> > is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights
> > than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of
> > Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it
> > should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers'
> > Dams).
> >
> > So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
> > referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait
> > until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam
> > ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
> > contact/harass them.
> >
> > In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
> > environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears
> > are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be
> > persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone If you are
> > going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not
> > careful where they dump!
> >
> > Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
> > you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam
> > office.
> >
> > THANK YOU,
> >
> > RYAN DEVRIES
> > & THE DAM BEAVERS