BannedCR500Riders.com

So there I was.....5 years ago.....covered in 927. My wife of almost 9 years asks me. "Hey I have some friends that are driving down from Washington...they are on their way to San Diego. Can they sleep her for the night? Being the kind type...sure...I dont care....

Thus! They interject into our lives like a social disease that does not go away. They show up...I am cordial out of respect for my wife. I soon learn this is a mistake. My wife is a kind woman.....ALL SoCal hoons can attest!

The arrival: I am cleaning my CR500 up and they show up. I see the wife....she resembles "Slimer" off Ghostbusters only smells worse and a lazy eye that is creepy! So I name her "EyeBall"


Her husbad....I deduce...a silly stupid fuck who thinks he is Greg Lemont. He is wearing a full spandex body suit thingy. Resembles nothing short of a fat dick wearing a small pedal bikers hat. Dude looked like he swallowed a medicine ball. Faggot.....

I maintain discipline...until he asks me..."So what are you going to cook me to eat?" My mind reels quickly to a mental image of a cold turd on a dixie paper plate. Then I come to my senses and think...."Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

The next day....fed up already. Fock it! I am going the gym to sweat it all out a laugh. I remember Ronny (my wife) making 7-8 logs of Kimbob (Korean California Rolls) before I left. I hammered out over an hour of cardio. I am thinking, "Shit, why waste this..eating something bad....Oh yeah! Ronny is makin KimBob...lowfat goodness!"

I get home...hungry as hell from my workout. I crack the fridge. ..........I feel my temp rise as my eyes dart from corner to corner of the fridge....no Kimbob! I interdict the wife in the hallway..."WTF happened!" "Where is the Kimbob?" Her reply,' Oh they ate it all." Eight fuckin logs!!!!! How the hell!!!!. Thats enough for 5 people. Piss on it...I am taking a shower to cool off.

I get out of the shower and am taking my stinky gym clothes to the pantry. As I cruise down the hallway...I catch a whif. "Holy Christ!" I was scared the chest freezer shit the bed in the pantry! I ran down the hall nervous that food had gone bad. No.......chest freezer is on full cool? In complete bewilderment.....WTF? I walked back up the hallway in detective mode. When I came abreast of my sons room...it hit me like a foul rotten fish smell upper hook. Coughing/gagging I ran up the hall in retreat mode. WTF...yet again!?

I intercepted the wife... "What in the name of god is that smell emitting from the hallway?! Her reply, The smell is her puss. She has a slight problem." Problem!? Get them the fuck out of here...burn those sheets!!!!! Chem-Tool those meat curtains!

The wife shoots me down. I evacuate to the garage and sip on a beer in a chair. Shortly there after "HE" shows up. He asks me....are there hills around here? I like to ride my bike. I reply with a devilish grim...yeah there are hills...want me to show you? Oh yes! Well get back into your spandex and I will give you a the penny tour.

I had the mind to roost the fuck out of him on the 500. I guess I folded....I am too kind. Instead. I took him 7+ miles out and left him. Took me 5 minutes to get home and him 2 hours.

So what do we do? We move to Washington.....only to learn they beat us up here...

I am damned!

They still hanging around then huh! I thought you resolved that little issue already.....

Even the kid in the background is going "WTF?"

i dont have your patience

Fuckers wouldnt come within 5 miles of my house.....

AlisoBob wrote:Fuckers wouldnt come within 5 miles of my house.....

exactly- I'm a foul mouthed SOB, I would have went all red neck within a few hours for sure....

Mik329 wrote:I would have went all red neck within a few hours for sure....

Mik329 wrote: exactly- I'm a foul mouthed SOB, I would have went all red neck within a few hours for sure....

Ha! Jason's friend was here for less than 24 hrs and I was yelling "Get the f**k out of my house!" while trying to insert his head into his ass!
I have no patience for stupid people!! Come to my house and take advantage... I dare you!!!

They will not come around when I am here. They are banned from the base and the house. The kids cant stand them either. I have a good reputation in the Korean Community as polite and thoughtful. Never had a problem except with these two.

I was asked why I disliked them so and the translation was roughly that of a Parasite or Leech. The wife got in my ass for being overly-blunt. While most snickered while concealing their mouth with a hand. Its well known that I "strongly" do not like them.

My wife, she is a fantastic woman with a heart of pure gold. When I deploy to the box....life is not easy. Though, I think deployments are harder on her than me. She is just too nice. I can be a nitro-burning-power-cock at times...I guess it balances out.

Rest assured, if there is food to be had. Those two will invade with sickening certainty. So path's do intertwine at times. BBQ's, Birthday Parties and the such.

What I did not mention is when we still lived at Edwards. Those two went through the house like two Pacmen and ate EVERYTHING without regard for my kids. I made him give me $400 to buy groceries to replace what they ate. Which he tried to get back to me later on. He said he loaned that money to me. I unleashed a barrage of truths mixed in with a river of degradation.....

I saw my wife was talking with her yesterday. I guess that triggered all of this. I think she feels sorry for them. If people fail to help themselves.....I do not feel sorry for them.

Rosco-Peeko wrote: If people fail to help themselves.....I do not feel sorry for them.

exactly my thoughts.

Rosco-Peeko wrote:If people fail to help themselves.....I do not feel sorry for them.

...but, isn't that what they do? Help themselves to everything that is yours?

DOH!

MojoScojo wrote:

Rosco-Peeko wrote:If people fail to help themselves.....I do not feel sorry for them.

...but, isn't that what they do? Help themselves to everything that is yours?

DOH!

Alright dammit! You got me there. At one point yes.....presently...no. The very sight of them can ruin my day.

Rosco-Peeko wrote:Alright dammit! You got me there. At one point yes.....presently...no. The very sight of them can ruin my day.

the real question is why does our wife still associate with them?

Because she feels sorry for them and they wont leave her alone. It nothing like it was. They were at our house a few times a week doing raids.

I had it out with them many times and called them out in front of everyone. Put his wife in tears...a few times. The titty went dry with me a loooong time ago.

My wife is Korean......Eyeball is Korean...I would have guessed swamp-rat by the way she smells. Koreans are tight-knit. To top it off....my wife is entirely too nice. I am convinced she would befriend a cougar that is trying to eat her ass.

Rosco-Peeko wrote:Because she feels sorry for them and they wont leave her alone. It nothing like it was. They were at our house a few times a week doing raids.

I had it out with them many times and called them out in front of everyone. Put his wife in tears...a few times. The titty went dry with me a loooong time ago.

My wife is Korean......Eyeball is Korean...I would have guessed swamp-rat by the way she smells. Koreans are tight-knit. To top it off....my wife is entirely too nice. I am convinced she would befriend a cougar that is trying to eat her ass.

got ya. i guess as long as you can stop the damn raids, then the rest can be dealt with.

Rosco-Peeko wrote:Because she feels sorry for them and they wont leave her alone. my wife is entirely too nice. I am convinced she would befriend a cougar that is trying to eat her ass.

That is why they won't leave your wife alone, they can manipulate her so they can be the swamp rats that they are.
I hate people who take advantage of kind hearted people.
Sorry man, I hope it gets better soon.

CR500R7 wrote:

Rosco-Peeko wrote:Because she feels sorry for them and they wont leave her alone. my wife is entirely too nice. I am convinced she would befriend a cougar that is trying to eat her ass.

That is why they won't leave your wife alone, they can manipulate her so they can be the swamp rats that they are.

Exactly!

Take this shit to the next level, Peeko......

AlisoBob wrote:

Take this shit to the next level, Peeko......

I have, indirectly.....tho it does not need to be posted in here. I am sure it would be funnier than hell to most.

Dude, invite me over. Luckily, I have a personality problem that is borderline sociopathic! I would actually get a kick out of berating these fukkers right in front of their faces. Just the fact that she has a smelly puss would give me enough ammo to go on for hours! Seriously, I want in!

damn, sucks dude. All of my wifes friends are belly dancers or tattooed up chicks from DN. I welcome them over with open arms and a hard-on!
Now, my mother in law, on the other hand has a few flip friends that used to come over and talk shit and give me dirty looks and take over the house while there... They do not respond well with my white-trash-red-neckness, it makes them uncomfortable, so I add a little gravy on top and start talking like a hill billy and swearing a lot and watching speed at about 100db so they can't sit and talk in the living room. they only ever come over once
a little "yeehaw" and drop about 5 n-bombs in the same sentence and they scatter

StinkFinger wrote:Dude, invite me over. Luckily, I have a personality problem that is borderline sociopathic! I would actually get a kick out of berating these fukkers right in front of their faces. Just the fact that she has a smelly puss would give me enough ammo to go on for hours! Seriously, I want in!

Dude, I'd seriously puke all over her! Like %100 serious, I'd projectile vomit all over her nasty fucking face in hopes that my puke would mask the cooter of the sea scent.

dannygraves wrote:

StinkFinger wrote:Dude, invite me over. Luckily, I have a personality problem that is borderline sociopathic! I would actually get a kick out of berating these fukkers right in front of their faces. Just the fact that she has a smelly puss would give me enough ammo to go on for hours! Seriously, I want in!

Dude, I'd seriously puke all over her! Like %100 serious, I'd projectile vomit all over her nasty fucking face in hopes that my puke would mask the cooter of the sea scent.

but seriously, how could you not go get a rotting britincali taken care of? if i was the husband, i'd be like GO GET THAT BLUE WAFFLE BLEACHED OUT!

NightBiker07 wrote:but seriously, how could you not go get a rotting britincali taken care of? if i was the husband, i'd be like GO GET THAT BLUE WAFFLE BLEACHED OUT!