Office Christmas Party
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 16, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the
private function room at the Grill House. There will be a
cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band
playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed
as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.
Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at
that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make
the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 17, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to
exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an
important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though
unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it
our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who
are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 18, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of
Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign
your name.. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign
on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange,
no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too
much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: November 19, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that
December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids
eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!
Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does
not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House
can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else
package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight
Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women
will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other.
Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own
table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the
Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress,
the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently
because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a
diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the
amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people
with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as
dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar"
desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: November 20, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!
We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or
not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of
death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad
bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings,
too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm
hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing weirdos can kiss my *ss.
I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources
Director
DATE: November 23, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty
Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to
cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off
with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
Office Christmas Party
Office Christmas Party
88CR500
ROOST ON PEOPLE!!!
ROOST ON PEOPLE!!!
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britincali
- Posts: 8207
- Joined: May 31st, 2007, 7:10 pm
- Location: Barstow, CA
On a serious note the dealership im at now will not have a christmas party because of the liability due to all the different religions working there. I think its complete fukin bullshit personally 
Coolness list by 90cr500guy
Bob's = 50/50
Cepek = cool
Solidbro = cool
Brit = loser
Stoffer = 1 up from Brit
MFDB = cool
Danny = ok
Bob's = 50/50
Cepek = cool
Solidbro = cool
Brit = loser
Stoffer = 1 up from Brit
MFDB = cool
Danny = ok
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"SOLID Bro!!"
-
1ugly85cr500
- Posts: 37
- Joined: February 4th, 2010, 4:19 pm
instead of the genral mass of the public