BannedCR500Riders.com

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

Bob oh bob, sounds like you have harley envy, lol. No wories I used to feel the same way you do and probably could have added to the list. One of the nice things about the pigs is how simple they are, like the cr 500. Stock harleys are very reliable( dont laugh its true) only you you start to basterdize them do they get real finiky. There are lots of people that could be described by your post but there are some like I that are not. I am only 33 yet ride a tour glide. I dont wear leather, could care less to ride w others, just like to put a lday on the back and go ride. Like it or not having a harley is like legal ruffies for alot of women. Dont hate, dont hate, lol. You should she the looks i get when i pass by other riders because I am young riding this old man bike. And when i pass them on the outside going through the twisties. The logest I have ridden in one day was 722 mi and yes I did that solo, w no other riders.

There is supposed to be a funny harley southpark on thursday.

I agree with some of what you say, but like it or not they are not for everyone, and there is something nice about a simple to work on bike that looks good. I will never by into the look at me creedo, its more about the ride. But yeah there are some dumb MF's out there.

You obviously dont know the majority of the Harley riders in the O/C....


THat said, the "Pussy Magnet" factor cannot be denied.....

o/c is loaded full of "weekend warriors"! Doctors and lawyers who drop like $60k on a shiney new harley and all the fancy add-ons and "HD" brand gear and try to look so f-ing tough
I drive past the henderson HD dealer here everyday on my way to work and maybe 1 out of every 50 that I see are ridden by serious riders... no saddle bags, no stupid high windscreen, only safety gear, not gay ass homo looking leather chaps, etc. the rest are a bunch of wannabe homos. and these wannabe homos can't tune their carb, so my eyes water from driving behind them and they go 2 directions on gear... either they look like they are headed off to some kinky homo s&m party, or they are wearing dockers and reboks... either way they still wear a skull cap... its natural selection at its best, that skull cap won't do a damn thing if they drop that bike on the freeway

Only problem is there the ones that never crash!

I'll retire on a new HD Night Train. Bob, you will be one of my special guest during my retirement ceremony...better be there fucko.....

You know he will. Thats why he's VELVET bob.

Nice observation Bob.

Rosco-Peeko wrote:I'll retire on a new HD Night Train. Bob, you will be one of my special guest during my retirement ceremony...better be there fucko.....

When are you retiring?

sabreguy wrote:

Rosco-Peeko wrote:I'll retire on a new HD Night Train. Bob, you will be one of my special guest during my retirement ceremony...better be there fucko.....

When are you retiring?

2045 is my guess....

dannygraves wrote:o/c is loaded full of "weekend warriors"! Doctors and lawyers who drop like $60k on a shiney new harley and all the fancy add-ons and "HD" brand gear and try to look so f-ing tough
I drive past the henderson HD dealer here everyday on my way to work and maybe 1 out of every 50 that I see are ridden by serious riders... no saddle bags, no stupid high windscreen, only safety gear, not gay ass homo looking leather chaps, etc. the rest are a bunch of wannabe homos. and these wannabe homos can't tune their carb, so my eyes water from driving behind them and they go 2 directions on gear... either they look like they are headed off to some kinky homo s&m party, or they are wearing dockers and reboks... either way they still wear a skull cap... its natural selection at its best, that skull cap won't do a damn thing if they drop that bike on the freeway

I agree....I hate weekend warriors. I have a 76 shovelhead 99% stock and its as reliable as the proverbial claw hammer. It hasn't seen the inside of a bike shop since the day I bought it. I do all my own maintenance because I enjoy working on my street and dirt bikes almost as much as I enjoy riding them. I don't really think I or my bike fall into any of the catagories in the first post It was good for a laugh because I know exactly the kind of people he has in mind and there are too damn many of them.
My family started riding Harleys before people rode them for the "cool" factor. It makes me sick to see all the doctors, lawyers, and other dipshits riding harleys for nothing more than the image.

I also despise the assholes that think their bike is somehow superior to my harley just because its a bmw or a honda or whatever pile of rice burning shit they choose to ride.
I just enjoy bikes period....I enjoy different brands for different reasons. I have a harley, but I also have a honda.
I ride to ride.....not to look cool.

cuzican wrote:

dannygraves wrote:o/c is loaded full of "weekend warriors"! Doctors and lawyers who drop like $60k on a shiney new harley and all the fancy add-ons and "HD" brand gear and try to look so f-ing tough
I drive past the henderson HD dealer here everyday on my way to work and maybe 1 out of every 50 that I see are ridden by serious riders... no saddle bags, no stupid high windscreen, only safety gear, not gay ass homo looking leather chaps, etc. the rest are a bunch of wannabe homos. and these wannabe homos can't tune their carb, so my eyes water from driving behind them and they go 2 directions on gear... either they look like they are headed off to some kinky homo s&m party, or they are wearing dockers and reboks... either way they still wear a skull cap... its natural selection at its best, that skull cap won't do a damn thing if they drop that bike on the freeway

I agree....I hate weekend warriors. I have a 76 shovelhead 99% stock and its as reliable as the proverbial claw hammer. It hasn't seen the inside of a bike shop since the day I bought it. I do all my own maintenance because I enjoy working on my street and dirt bikes almost as much as I enjoy riding them. I don't really think I or my bike fall into any of the catagories in the first post It was good for a laugh because I know exactly the kind of people he has in mind and there are too damn many of them.
My family started riding Harleys before people rode them for the "cool" factor. It makes me sick to see all the doctors, lawyers, and other dipshits riding harleys for nothing more than the image.

I also despise the assholes that think their bike is somehow superior to my harley just because its a bmw or a honda or whatever pile of rice burning shit they choose to ride.
I just enjoy bikes period....I enjoy different brands for different reasons. I have a harley, but I also have a honda.
I ride to ride.....not to look cool.

i guess that southpark is tonight

AlisoBob wrote:

sabreguy wrote:

Rosco-Peeko wrote:I'll retire on a new HD Night Train. Bob, you will be one of my special guest during my retirement ceremony...better be there fucko.....

When are you retiring?

2045 is my guess....

that southpark was funny