Gay Quiz....
Posted: September 7th, 2007, 9:08 am
My FEMALE Office Manager gave this to me.... She says its 95% accurate:
This was sent to me by a Female...
Eight sure-fire ways to tell if you are gay...
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard
stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat
is like a dog,but gay - It grooms itself constantly but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be
fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said
get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat...
"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck
El Dicko and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's
world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one
in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and
full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of colors or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes
to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major League Baseball, AMA Racing, NFL, NHL, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the
wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of
the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger,
hold his beer, or play with his bitch in the passenger seat.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
Mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui?
The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a
woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when theyflame out too quickly.
Any questions or comments?
This was sent to me by a Female...
Eight sure-fire ways to tell if you are gay...
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard
stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat
is like a dog,but gay - It grooms itself constantly but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be
fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said
get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat...
"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck
El Dicko and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's
world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one
in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and
full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of colors or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes
to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major League Baseball, AMA Racing, NFL, NHL, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the
wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of
the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger,
hold his beer, or play with his bitch in the passenger seat.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
Mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui?
The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a
woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when theyflame out too quickly.
Any questions or comments?
gauranteed to knock 18 lbs off your bike and break in half the first time you kick it over
