laws of REALITY
Posted: April 7th, 2009, 11:12 pm
THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY
& Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
& Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
& Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
& Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
& Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
& Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
& Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
& Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
& Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
& Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
& Law of the Theat re - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
& The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
& Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
& Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam or honey sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
& Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
& Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
& Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
& Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
& Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
& Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
& Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
& Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
& Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
& Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
& Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
& Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
& Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
& Law of the Theat re - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
& The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
& Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
& Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam or honey sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
& Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
& Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
& Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
