BannedCR500Riders.com

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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I married a "Miss Right".

I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives

They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested .
Then God created Man and rested
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days

If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

If you ask a question that an answer may contain a yes and no you will get neither.

[/URL]
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

....and look how happy she is.

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?


Nothing you havent told her twice before!

Husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale. Only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

teamdns wrote:what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?


Nothing you havent told her twice before!

what do 25,000 batterd wives all have in common?

they dont fricken lesion.



what is the 1st thing a women dose when she gets home from the batterd wifes safe home?



the dishes if she knows whats good for her

Ha ha,good stuff guys,I'd send it to the girlfriend but I might end up looking like the girl in the pic bob posted