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My BEST friend jacked me over

This guy (G) walks into a bar says "Give me a triple shot of Scotch".

Bartender (B) says "Damm dude, bad day at the office"?

G: Hell Yes! and it got worse when I got home!

B: What happened?

G: I walked in on my Wife and Best friend screwing in MY bed.

B: What'd you do??

G: I told my Wife to get the FUCK OUT and NEVER COME BACK!!!!! HIT THE FUCKING BRICKS BITCH!!!!

B: What'd you do to your buddy?

G: Nothing, not a damm thing, he's my buddy!

B: Did you at least bitch him out??

G: Oh yea, I gave him a piece of my mind.

B: Well what the hell did you say????



G: I jumped his shit........
I told him: bad dog!!!!! you know you're not suppose to get on the bed!!!!!!

That's sick man.

My mother in law was here for the holidays.
After Christmas dinner she said she'd decided to be cremated.
I got up and said "I'll get the car"

Awesome!

Reminds me of National Lampoon's Dirty Movie:

A guy sitting at a bar is shaking his head looking down and says, "I'm going to loose my license.".

Bartender asks why.

Guy: I fucked three of my patients

Bartender: I wouldn't worry about it. My brother screws his patients all of the time.

Guy: Is he a Veterinarian too?

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Speaking of Sheep.....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAi1005K71g

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NightBiker07 wrote:the youtube embed function isnt working

Remove the s from the https://