How to sell a dirt bike.
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 12:42 pm
BannedCR500Riders.com
Addressing the survival of the legendary CR500!
https://www.bannedcr500riders.com/
How to sell a dirt bike.
Page 1 of 1
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 12:53 pm
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 1:01 pm
It has a 600cc to fly down the trail or to outrun the cops...
Hoon-tastic.....
Hoon-tastic.....
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 3:47 pm
Awesome ad, but it's an XL600 ! My Mum rides one of them to church !
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 4:56 pm
other wrote:Awesome ad, but it's an XL600 ! My Mum rides one of them to church !
Don't let that guy hear you say that!!!"That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore."
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 7:35 pm
Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab
Phucking love it!
Phucking love it!
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 8:52 pm
dude... best ad ever! I want to buy it just because of the ad.
Posted: January 16th, 2012, 11:08 pm
Ad copied for when the bike sells, we can still laugh!
Date: 2012-01-01, 8:36PM PST
Reply to: sale-hw2fx-2742134255@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
OK, let me start off by saying this XL is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a dirt bike to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Honda would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to ride down a grass filled ditch in your LBZ baggy gear looking like a spode. It wasn't meant to do 3-foot long pop wheelies in front of your hillbilly friends in your cousin's back yard while everyone drinks Budweiser. No, that's what a 50 is for. If that's the kind of bike you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. This bike has been to hell and back, twice, and has the scars to prove it. So if you can't handle being seen behind the bars of this biblical, fire breathing, dragon slaying hero because it has a few purple hearts, move on.
This bike was engineered by 3rd degree ninja pirate super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous Nancy boy, contradictory decor in the form of Monster, Red Bull, Spy, Oakley, FMF, and Pro Circuit stickers plastered all over the bike. This bike looks legit because it is.
This brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 600cc to fly down the trail or to outrun the cops and has a 6-speed transmission so you know grandma won't be taking off with it when you're not looking. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant grippy seat cover. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. (NOTE: I cut myself fighting a streetbiker who looked at me funny and used the first aid kit, a replacement kit is available for an additional $100 and comes with Gentleman's Jack.)
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $1600 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
There's only 25,000 miles on this hellcat from Planet Kickass since purchased in 83'. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then reply to this ad. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
God bless -- Buy It
Date: 2012-01-01, 8:36PM PST
Reply to: sale-hw2fx-2742134255@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
OK, let me start off by saying this XL is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a dirt bike to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Honda would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to ride down a grass filled ditch in your LBZ baggy gear looking like a spode. It wasn't meant to do 3-foot long pop wheelies in front of your hillbilly friends in your cousin's back yard while everyone drinks Budweiser. No, that's what a 50 is for. If that's the kind of bike you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. This bike has been to hell and back, twice, and has the scars to prove it. So if you can't handle being seen behind the bars of this biblical, fire breathing, dragon slaying hero because it has a few purple hearts, move on.
This bike was engineered by 3rd degree ninja pirate super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous Nancy boy, contradictory decor in the form of Monster, Red Bull, Spy, Oakley, FMF, and Pro Circuit stickers plastered all over the bike. This bike looks legit because it is.
This brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 600cc to fly down the trail or to outrun the cops and has a 6-speed transmission so you know grandma won't be taking off with it when you're not looking. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant grippy seat cover. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. (NOTE: I cut myself fighting a streetbiker who looked at me funny and used the first aid kit, a replacement kit is available for an additional $100 and comes with Gentleman's Jack.)
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $1600 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
There's only 25,000 miles on this hellcat from Planet Kickass since purchased in 83'. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then reply to this ad. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
God bless -- Buy It
Posted: January 17th, 2012, 12:41 am
love it
Posted: January 17th, 2012, 8:34 pm
They didn't even consider superfluous Nancy boy, contradictory decor in the form of Monster, Red Bull, Spy, Oakley, FMF, and Pro Circuit stickers plastered all over the bike
i just pissed my pants, and its still funny Posted: January 26th, 2012, 4:09 am
x2dannygraves wrote:dude... best ad ever! I want to buy it just because of the ad.
Posted: January 26th, 2012, 6:24 am
Lol!!! 
Posted: January 26th, 2012, 7:00 am
Wow so he's bucking to be "The Worlds Most Interesting Man"
Speaking of which, I have a paradee on that, I'll start another thread for that one.
Speaking of which, I have a paradee on that, I'll start another thread for that one.
Posted: January 26th, 2012, 1:21 pm
Truely funny as all fkc, very creative ....BUT "this Honda would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly."
wasnt Tom Selleck a closet homo?
So if you can't handle being seen behind the bars of this biblical, fire breathing, dragon slaying hero because it has a few purple hearts, move on.
An XL is only a shit XR .... isnt it?
"It has a 600cc to fly down the trail or to outrun the cops"
Another brilliant piece of non-fictional writing
"It even has a first-aid kit in the back."
Yeh to patch the blisters on your hands & feet