Idiot Sightings

[MojoScojo]

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said “May I have large bills, please”
She looked at me and said “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.”
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her….

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’ His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side.’
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.


IDIOT SIGHTING

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, ‘NO, it’s not..’ Four is larger than two.’
We haven’t used Sears repair since.


IDIOT SIGHTING

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25 so I also handed her a quarter. She said, “You gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes I know but this way you can just give me a dollar back.” She sighed and went to the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so and he handed me back the quarter and said, “We’re sorry but we can not do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1.75 in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McDonalds.


IDIOT SIGHTING

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’
From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. — From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’
Our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
And for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.


IDIOT SIGHTING

How would you pronounce this child’s name?
“Le-a”
Leah?? NO
Lee – A?? NOPE
Lay – a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It’s pronounced “Ledasha”.
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”

[Roostius_Maximus]

Thanks, mojo

[caseyracing222]

The last one was my favorite I laughed at them all though Thanks Mojo

[britincali]

I was talking with a couple of our salesguys last week and one of them asked why most other countries dont like americans I told him its because most americans have no idea about any other countries aside from their own and thus get pegged as stupid, he replies with...

"Yea I guess I can see how that can happen, I bet most americans dont even know what continent london is on...."

I shook my head and walked away.

[AlisoBob]

Idiot Sighting:

http://bannedcr500riders.com/board/view ... ht=#121104

[fastkart]

My idiot sighting from just this afternoon...

I'm working a sports show for the county developement commission. I look up and an 8 or so year old girl barfs across the aisle from me. We got ahold of building staff to have someone come clean it up. 15 minutes later, a guy comes along carrying only a mop, no bucket, no cleaner, just a mop. He points at the puke on the floor and asks if that was what he was called to clean up. After deciding a mop without a mop bucket was the wrong way to deal with this he leaves.. 10 minutes later he shows up with a broom and dustpan.

Happened at the UNI Dome at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls.

[homenf]

Mechanic at Midas.

I bought the lifetime oil change from there because it ended up i couldn't do it myself for less money. On the second oil change the mechanic chomes out and gives me a crazy quote to change my dual batteries setup to a single battery setup. He said "Your running 24 volts in your truck!" I explained how a parallel system works and he was explaining the batteries to be in series, not the way they were installed. He argued, I drew pictures of how batteries work together. He couldn't grasp what I was saying. When the manager came in I thought I would be rescued from this stupidity but instead I was explaining to two people.
I asked for my truck back and left forever.

My lifetime oil change of $99 ended up as 2 oil changes and me going back to doing it myself.

[Rosco-Peeko]

Multiple Sightings:

Military Doctors...... Given a get out of jail free card no matter how bad they fuck up. Simple procedure turned into amputee. That happened at Travis.

I have had too many experiences to list. But this one is good:

I was stationed in Germany, Spangdahlem to be exact and I was around 25. I caught the flu....I was sick as hell. I went in to get seen. The Doc looks at me ask's a few questions. Then he says, "Lets get a look at your throat." Durning this he says, "Yeah, yeah, your tonsils are red and irritated." I replied, "Sir, I am not sure what you are looking at, I have not had tonsils since I was 9." He quickly shuffled me out and told me, "You're ok to go back to work."


These days, I just ask for meds. If its anything serious, I ask to go downtown to see a specialist. Same for the wife and kids.

[MojoScojo]

I love where this thread is going.