CIA position

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USMC 500
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Joined: April 1st, 2012, 4:16 pm
Location: Tehachapi, Ca

CIA position

Post by USMC 500 »

Before we get started, understand that this joke can be slightly modified to suit your situation....hahaha!! Please be patient as this one is a bit long.

The CIA was in need of a new agent to excecute special assignments so they set out to find the baddest son of a bitch currently walking the earth.

They went to all the branches of the military and picked out the best of the best.

From the Army they looked to the Green Berets.....From the Air Force they looked to the Pararescuemen (PJ's)....From the Navy they looked to the SEALS.....From the Marine Corps they looked to Force Recon.

One "Badass" was chosen from each branch and taken to the CIA's headquarters for testing and evaluation. The 4 men were subjected to various forms of tests, everything from written, intelligence, strength, stamina, instinct, and every other form of brutal prerequisite the CIA could throw at them to determine the one "Badass" that would fill the position they were looking to fill. After about a month of evaluation the 4 men were pretty much neck and neck and the CIA had a tough time deciding on any one of the four men.

So for a tie breaking tactic the CIA decided to conduct a test of "Loyalty" with the 4 men. It was a brutal coldhearted test but the CIA decided that this would be the only way that they could finally pick the best canidate.

The 4 men were brought to a warehouse with 4 seperate doors leading to 4 seperate rooms. On a table in front of them were 4 similar 357 magnum revolvers. The 4 members of the Armed Forces were curious as to what was expected of them. Then entered the head of the CIA. The 4 men were then told by the head of the CIA that all 4 of their wives had been abducted and placed in each one of those rooms. They were then told that the only way they could be given a position of such delicate importance was to prove their loyalty to their country by killing their wives in the name of "National Security!!"

The Air Force PJ declined right off the bat saying that the CIA had gone too far with this and proceeded to collect his wife from the room she was in and head back to his previous assignment.

The Army Green Beret just smirked, grabbed a revolver and went into the room where his wife waited.....and just as quick as he went in, he came out with his wife by his side and told the head of the CIA that he respectfully declined as well.

The Navy SEAL then said "what a bunch of snatches!!" He then grabbed his revolver and stormed into the room where his wife waited....after about 5 minutes the SEAL also came out with his wife by his side and told the head of the CIA that he was not up to the task at hand.

Finally the Force Recon Marine stood up, picked up his revolver, and with a cold blank stare slowly strolled into the room where his wife waited.....just as quick as he entered, the head of the CIA heard BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.....the head of the CIA smiled and told the others "we have our man" They were then astonished to hear loud screams, banging, crashing, slamming and all sorts of dismay coming from behind the door of that one room.......The CIA agents all looked at each other in horror as the Marine finally came out of the room all out of breath.

The Marine then told the head of the CIA in a calm tone "SIR, with all due respect I must decline the position offered here. You men are all F***ed up, unsquared away piles of disorganized S*** and I can't work with incompetance!! Some idiot bastared filled my pistol with blank rounds and I had to beat my wife to death with a chair!!"

SEMPER FI!!
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